Articles & Essays   Book Reviews Creative Writing

Consciousness, Literature and the Arts

 

Volume 18 Number 3, December 2017

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IT’S LIKE GRASPING AT THE WIND

Per Brask

 

 

Foreword

 

the end point

of freedom

of religion

sits precisely there

where

religion demands

to take over

democratic rule

 

we cannot have

a democratic

adventure

and protect

freedom

of religion

unless every religion

agrees

to hold back

from

foisting

on all

others

its particular

beefs

 

that kind

of insistence

undermines

freedom of religion

and it undermines

the process that

ideally

promotes

free, open

rational dialogue

in order to

produce

contingent conclusions

that for that moment

represent the will

of a majority

while protecting

the minority

 

that’s the hard

problem

of democracy

- easily

destroyed, yet

taken for granted

so, no,

you cannot

have your way

if you undermine

my way and don’t

want to play

at being equals

in public spaces

and vice versa

 

there’ll be trouble

 

we will hurt

each other’s

feelings

from time

to time

okay?


 

 

i

 

it’s like grasping at the wind

to hold it in a fist

 

or trying to pin a nametag to the space

between this thought and that

 

even as I say, I am grateful

and keep walking in that mind

 

I know not to whom

I give thanks, for I don’t know

 

if You are a you. I could be

fanciful, I suppose, and write You

 

sous rature, very hip, but beside the point

where points don’t exist

 

You did say there would be

life and death

 

blessing and curse and

therefore ”choose life.” It is

 

for this I am grateful

having chosen life

 

with great ease I recount

the cursed walls I’ve run into

 

harder to keep track

of my blessings

 

I take too many of them

for granted, perhaps

 

I accept that I cannot

have life but in the shadow of death

 

still, I want to learn

to make fewer mistakes


 

 

ii

 

“we are all connected to God,”

she says on the phone

 

“you are too, I know you are

I can hear it in your voice

 

you have a great power in you,

called love, God’s love

 

it lives deep in a person and in some

it’s more … coming through”

 

she speaks with a striking Israeli

accent. I might have followed her

 

into the desert, no nourishment

but the sun and the glory of God

 

“I just don’t have time at present,”

I beg off, “I can fix it,” she says.

 

“that’s because you’re Israeli;

Israelis can fix anything.” Laughter from Israel.

 

“So much of the Bible gets lost,

did you know Adam comes from Adamah?

 

land or earth? You need to get into

these spiritual connections in Hebrew”

 

“I know. As soon as I have time I will

take the next level.” “I started praying

 

the Psalms when I was in the army

now I do it all the time, so

 

don’t wait too long”

the temptations of faith are strong


 

 

iii

 

it’s on the rise again. Someone down south

lifted a stone, darkness oozed out

 

drifted north, emboldening

those wearing masks of “values” 

 

bomb calls to JCCs, headstones tossed about

Swastikas painted on synagogues

 

and blood dripping down

the walls in a mosque in Quebec

 

institutions beef up security, a good thing

but better to learn the lesson

 

of Martin Niemöller, anyone could be next

a doctor helping a woman in need, a boy

 

inspired by a pope’s encyclical

to defend the rainforest

 

so when darkness falls upon you

we must be there with you, when it descends

 

on us, you will stand up, for ultimately

what is abhorrent to all of us building

 

this northern home

(with a huge mortgage still owed

to the indigenous peoples along with depths of gratitude),

is allowing the enemies of free will to tunnel in like termites

 

it is incumbent on us to help zealots who think

they hear some voice in holy books telling them

 

control or destroy your neighbour, to understand

that they didn’t listen deeply, because the only certainty

 

is that we’ve been tasked to be kind and to flourish

the rest is commentary


 

 

iv

 

“Hear, O Israel!

Adonai is our God, Adonai is One”

 

“To Me, O Israelites you are

just like the Ethiopians

 

true I brought Israel up

from the land of Egypt,

 

but also the Philistines from Caphtor

and the Arameans from Kir.”

 

so, a special message given to no one

special, perhaps, but one to be shared

 

with the nations, because if God

is One, there is nothing for us to do

 

but care for one another (which is hard) and for

those whom we consider strangers (harder still)

 

we must continue conversations

among our own about best practices

 

and meet those other nations and compare

notes, debate, be ourselves and be with them

 

sometimes the Dalai Lama becomes

the rabbi whose laughter I need

 

sometimes I’ll need the Hindu lady

who teaches by hugging

 

or I happen to run into a Christian who

tells me that the Kingdom of God is within

 

these rendezvous I bring back to Torah

and re-read now maybe closer to its wisdom


 

 

v

 

then doubt sets in

the force of a different wind

 

I understand those Israelites

at the foot of Mt. Sinai or Horeb

 

waiting, waiting under the clouds

the attention span of faith can be short

 

something happened on that mountain

with different names depending on your approach

 

a mirage, some hocus-pocus, a meme erupted

so mindboggling it felt volcanic (it rumbles still)

 

whether 3200 years or so ago, or 6 or 800 less

when the story was recorded, doesn’t matter

 

the message, the meme, to love the neighbour

the stranger, the widow, the orphan, the poor

 

whooshed in or down and it changed the arrow of history

perhaps that’s what makes us say it came from God

 

because the mystery of this idea is so great, so right

so out of line with its time - and our own still?

 

I believe in this mystery, doubt has blown away most

of the other stuff, though it peeks through now and again

 

and attempting to live in that mystery is harder

than climbing a mountain in a whirlwind


 

 

vi

 

so what’s it all about?

about an inner life

 

built on stories

of a people

 

surviving, at times

flourishing against all odds

 

a people miraculously

still here, contributing

 

about grandchildren

asking questions on Pesach

 

parents shining

in reflected light

 

about children

growing up inspired

 

by their ancestors

to continue against the grain

 

to say no to people

who want to conform them

 

getting to know

the heroes of the caves

 

and those from

the Polish woods

 

about not getting

stuck in narrowness

 

forever struggling with

the texts and the life

 

to mature like Jacob

into Israel


 

 

vii

 

the spiritual order

demands a life

beyond the individual

not an unthinking

life, not a regimented one

but a life with others

not all new as they say

about TV episodes

but inspired by

and engaging

with those who came

before us

their thoughts

tolerant of what they

could have meant

in their time

and why they could have

meant it and what

that might mean now

if anything useful

at all

given that most things

change

and only our need

for others remains

constant, but different

the current spiritual order

demands that we move

ahead, experiment

come together

in new formations

that we burrow ever

deeper in to our

various traditions

teach each other

but never forget

where we came from

so we can get better

at living together

without becoming

shallower


 

 

viii

 

whenever I report that, yes

I believe in God

 

I am often met

by a fixed quizzical mask

 

I break it by stating

probably not the one

 

you’re thinking about

right now, I don’t know

who he is

 

if questioned further

I might say

 

I believe in the Ayn Sof

the never ending

 

that which puts me in

a state of awe

 

is the sense of

eternity

 

that things can be seen

under its aspect

 

lending meaning

to the small

 

the smallness that I am

that we are

 

against the wholeness

that never ends

 

Heschel says that awe

is prior to faith

 

and I admit

my awe is greater

than my faith


 

 

ix

 

faith tempts

the belief

 

that we, my group’s

got it right

 

that you, the rest of you

are verkakte

 

delusional. Wars have begun

that way

 

faith’s temptation

is “finding” succor

 

against the uncertainties

that are our lot

 

our unchangeable lot

because life changes

 

we change with it

that’s unchangeable

 

no unalterable belief

will protect us

 

it could destroy

lives

 


 

 

x

 

and finally I pray

for sundogs

 

howling above

frozen prairie

 

for elm trees

signaling our reach

 

for the men

of violence

 

to deliver themselves

in dark alleys

 

for Your rain to moisten

souls sucked dry

 

for the voices of the enchanters

to drown

 

and for our children to grow

strong in Your tender shade


 

 

Afterword

 

Bang!

 

Bereshit bara Elohim et hashamayim

ve'et ha'arets

 

and it is good